You don’t love me!

Saying this to your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is quite common, but the true answer lies within yourself.  Rather than asking this question to others, asking it to yourself will give you the best answer. Ponder upon the reasons why you don’t love yourself much and you won’t be able to give yourself any excuses or fake assurances with a mouth full of lies like others can do to you. That’s true that we cannot lie to ourselves. Relate this FOMO (fear of missing out) of good things like love and attention from others to those days when you were single but happy, may be in your childhood or adolescence, and find out why were you happy that time as compared to now when you have people closer to you? You will find that you are actually not missing anything, but yourself. The FOMO is connected to people, not to real happiness.

It’s important, I must say very essential to find yourself if you are lost in running after people for your happiness. AND, IT’S VERY EASY!

Don’t wait for special occasions with people, like dating or celebrating only with others. Date yourself; celebrate your existence, your own happiness, and your own achievements.

Shop for yourself, or wear beautiful dresses when and wherever you want

Take yourself out for a coffee, some desserts or some wine

Drive yourself to beautiful places, scenic highways and put on your favorite music

Pamper yourself with a SPA ; buy it or create for yourself. A warm bubble bath with aromatic oils and plenty of time can just be the perfect way to pamper your body temple

Walk alone or go for a trek. Romance nature and you will never be disappointed.

Cook for yourself. Anything that you like and would love to cook for others, make it for you. Don’t treat yourself as unimportant. A glass of wine while cooking with some beautiful music or any travel and food documentaries is my way of happy cooking.

Dig out the things you forgot during the course of life which made you happy, or something that you always wished for. It could be a hobby, and activity you were fond of. It could be a thing you always wanted for yourself, a dress, a book series or anything.

Beach-up. Nothing is more soothing and relaxing than listening to the ocean waves. You can do this too, but you can also party on the beach, play with the waves and have fun the way you want to. A beautiful beach dress, flip-flops and a beach bag can make you

A bookstore with a café’. No need to say more.

Appreciate your appearance, your looks. Feel gorgeous

Dare it. Face your fears if you have any. Go for adventures and your success or failure will make you closer to you

Movies, yes, they make you feel good. Watch your favorite movies. If not regularly, at least once in a month spend your day with your favorite characters and stories with treats in the living room.

Meditate or join a spiritual group, a Sufi dance workshop, a pottery workshop, a gardening workshop.

Grow your own garden. A few beautiful plants, organic herbs not only please the senses but also give a chance to spend some time for yourself by using them for your own health.

Sit in a garden and relax on the green carpet grass

 Excursions, food walks, dance workshops, wine tasting events, farm tours, a visit to stud farms,  stage shows, stand-up comedies, live music concerts, swimming and so much more to do with yourself

Buy yourself flowers every now and then and some chocolates too. Enjoy!

 

 

Refugee Children are Extraordinary

 

I have worked closely with the refugee population in India as a trainer under a UNHCR project for close to 3 years, including people from Afghanistan, Burma, Iraq and Somalia. And what I have experienced during my interaction with them is a great ardour of love, gratitude and care in them despite of all odds, especially in the children.

I dedicate this blog to all those children who are displaced and seek asylum in other countries; who had to leave their favorite pals, playgrounds, house courtyards, schools and run away with or without their families to escape from savagely violent wars against peace and humanity. There would be many little souls who managed to stay in this world and survive, and many that could not.

Relating this to a recent event when a 3-year old washed ashore on a Turkish beach, the boy Aylan’s story echoed around the world. He as a child of God did his part to show the world how heartless it is, and what message a small little child can give to this cold-blooded world. Every child who leaves his loving things and places sends a message to us, but the message doesn’t get interpreted because we can’t think like these children of God. Yes, we are not close enough to God like these little generous souls.

Refugee children are not the ordinary ones, and there are several reasons for that:

They not only feel the need of being loved and cared but also know how to give out love and care – Many of these refugee kids had other kids or unaccompanied minors in their homes, and these children loved each other like siblings. They had no question about each other’s identity, but only love and care that matters the most.

They are not God-fearing, but God-loving despite all the misfortunes and challenges were thrown at them – Once during a class I asked a beautiful little 5-year-old refugee girl that how does she feel in India? She answered, “My mom says we will be happy where ever we go, because God looks down from heaven on us, and will always take care. She also said that God loves children like me who smile and listen to mom and dad. I feel happy in India, but I left my school in my country.”

They wish for a happy world while in their own adversities, and not just their own happiness – Every time I used to ask my  student kids about being happy or wishing something, they all had similar answers of wishing the world to be a peaceful place to live, and no one should be forced to leave their homes.

They are creative, not destructive because they know what destruction can cause – They show their capability of designing a whole new life around themselves and adapt to the circumstances.

They value relationships because they don’t take anything for granted – They understand the fear of losing someone, and the trauma of living without love and care. They value people around them and remain grateful for what they have.

They are inspiring and deserve more than what they have!

Picture Source:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02619/Syrian-Refugees_2619496b.jpg