The Easiest and Essential Life Skills



Conscientiousness is all about having an objective opinion about things happening around us and working to get the right perspective. For example, when you see some kids are fighting among themselves and even if you know one was clearly in the wrong, as an objective teacher or parent you would still listen to both sides of the story before taking any kind of action. The same principle applies for other areas of life. And pausing to examine the situation is the best practice to calmly analyse the situation before passing any verdict.



Empathy is different from sympathy, as when we are sympathetic to someone we feel for that person whereas when we are empathetic we feel with the person. It’s one of the highest ranked skills in all walks of life, be it work, home, relationships. It creates a safe environment for sharing and problem solving. Empathy also builds trust and respect, and enables the one in need to release his/her emotions. And when we are empathetic towards someone, our various life skills make us stand out in life/work/home. We sharpen our skills to connect with people; ability to recognize strong feelings or emotions; ability to respect the other person’s effort to cope with the predicament; and offering support and partnership.


 To Collaborate and Connect

We never know what life must offer, and who all will be a part of our journey. Connecting and collaborating with people is a skill that not everyone can use effectively, and this skill helps to make us people’s person and teaches respect and indifference towards others. This can surprise us at times and help us learn through our experiences with people. We must never cease to use this people’s skill even after any bad experiences, because we never know what surprises life has to offer through people who will cross our path.



There’s no great teacher than curiosity. Kids are curious and we must appreciate them to ask, analyse and look for answers to their questions. But as we grow we seem to lose touch with curiosity, and the reason could be low interest in learning, shyness or we-know-it all attitude. Learning had no bar, and curiosity is the best way to learn. We must have a positive approach towards curiosity in all areas of life, esp. education and work.



It’s not the ability to keep going, but the will to stand again and again when life knocks you down several times and keep moving ahead. Difficulties are the opportunities to deepen our roots, and when life gets tough the true resilience shines through people who never give up. Resilience is very important to practice in life overall, at work, in relationships and for our personal growth. Responding positively and strongly to the external circumstances can help us build unbreakable resilience.

We Define Ourselves By Judging Others!

Aamir Khan’s “Intolerant India” statement is becoming intolerant by us Indians. How dare he say this about our loving country? How could he call India insecure and not worth living? He has no right to say this. He’s not a dignified man anymore; not a perfectionist anymore! Must be slapped; he deserves to be humiliated as much as possible by everyone in India, everyone means everyone! Share all negative things about him, make every possible effort to demean him, make videos, comment nonsense, do whatever it takes to make him feel ashamed, and every single person in the country must do so. Aamir Khan deserves this because he is a celebrity, and not a common man.

How quick we are to judge people around us? Every time they say something good or bad, we common people or even famous people for that matter of fact are always ready to give them a new character certificate.

We always change opinions about things, people, countries, religion, but we are not hypocrites. Someone who is famous and expressed what he felt, abiding by the constitution of India under the right to freedom of expression; He is a hypocrite! Let me remind all of us about the statements which are so commonly stated by common people like you and me or by almost every Indian citizen, several times, and let me leave it about your own judgment to certify these as intolerant or disrespectful towards the country or not.

General conversations in groups about India, living conditions in India, about people of India, religions in India and many more issues, include statements which are so common that nobody creates a fuss about them. How many of us usually say that:

“India hai yaar, yahan kuch bhi ho sakta hai!”

“India to Bahgwaan ke bharsoe chalta hai!”

“India me life ki koi value nahi hai!”

“India rehne layak kahan reh gya!”

“India ka kuch nahi ho sakta!”

Now my question to all of us who are accusing others and judging others’ statements is, “how often do we say these things to each other about our country?” At least once in a day or in general quite often? Don’t you feel that in a way we are disrespecting the country we are living in by stating these words of skepticism, distrust and uncertainty? Then how are we different from people who give clear statements about the safety in our country? What right do we have to question and judge others when we ourselves are not confident about our lives in our own country and keep on saying these “India aisa hi hai” statements.
It’s not about any celebrity being giving intolerant statements or a common person talking about uncertainties in the country, it’s about working on these issues without debating on things said or unsaid, without complicating the situations prevailing and making things shittier by commenting discussing unnecessarily. We have Time to make videos, write comments on everything that comes out of a celebrity’s mouth, but we have no time to question ourselves on the same statements that we spit out every day. We don’t judge ourselves before making such statements, but we can take lot of pain when someone else says this.
Before making things shittier and more viral can we take out time to understand how much we devote to our country, how responsible we are as common people?
Oh come-on! Stop criticizing everything! Don’t complicate things rather we must work on the solution on our own individual levels. We must stop questioning others and start questioning ourselves to judge what are we doing in any regard pertaining to our country?


The Story Behind the Book Cover


It was CRAZY to finalize the cover for my debut self-help book – “Create Your Magic Potion“. At times, I had to take a sleeping potion to get back to normal the very next day. I know it’s a silly jest 😉

Selecting a book cover is like getting to choose your own face; a face that clearly expresses the author’s inner self, and reflects the inner story of the book outside. But, very often it is perceived quite differently by people than the way it is presented by the writer. Nevertheless, every writer chooses the best he/she can to get the message across to the readers.

A tedious and maddening job, gives you nightmares and often the writers get up in the middle of the night to quickly sketch-out the design, half-asleep with whatever tools that come handy at that time, before the picture slips from the mind.

The cover of a self-help book must perfectly encapsulate the book’s theme, reflecting creativity, newness and brighter side of life. For a book about creativity, cover design expectations are always high.

Through this cover, I am trying to prove that sometimes it’s a single detail that can make a difference. The clarity and clutter free theme shows the very first step of starting any new process. The butterfly depicts the transformation from a caterpillar to a whole new, brighter and colorful entity, creating its own magic potion and spreading positivity all over. The drop of the potion portrays that it can create ripple effects of beauty, happiness and tranquility.

The soothing colors, green and blue are the favorite colors of nature. They render peace, growth, balance and harmony. Green is an emotionally positive color and a natural peacemaker that gives the ability to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally. Also, it’s a color of spring, renewal and rebirth, and that’s what the book is about, expressing that winter definitely turns to spring.

The color light blue is the color of the sky, depicting limitless options in life. It also signifies, trust, loyalty, confidence and tranquility which is the most important aspect of the techniques discussed in the book to attain the state of permanent happiness.

Releasing soon, “Create Your Magic Potion” wishes to touch at least a tiny little corner of your heart.

You don’t love me!

Saying this to your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is quite common, but the true answer lies within yourself.  Rather than asking this question to others, asking it to yourself will give you the best answer. Ponder upon the reasons why you don’t love yourself much and you won’t be able to give yourself any excuses or fake assurances with a mouth full of lies like others can do to you. That’s true that we cannot lie to ourselves. Relate this FOMO (fear of missing out) of good things like love and attention from others to those days when you were single but happy, may be in your childhood or adolescence, and find out why were you happy that time as compared to now when you have people closer to you? You will find that you are actually not missing anything, but yourself. The FOMO is connected to people, not to real happiness.

It’s important, I must say very essential to find yourself if you are lost in running after people for your happiness. AND, IT’S VERY EASY!

Don’t wait for special occasions with people, like dating or celebrating only with others. Date yourself; celebrate your existence, your own happiness, and your own achievements.

Shop for yourself, or wear beautiful dresses when and wherever you want

Take yourself out for a coffee, some desserts or some wine

Drive yourself to beautiful places, scenic highways and put on your favorite music

Pamper yourself with a SPA ; buy it or create for yourself. A warm bubble bath with aromatic oils and plenty of time can just be the perfect way to pamper your body temple

Walk alone or go for a trek. Romance nature and you will never be disappointed.

Cook for yourself. Anything that you like and would love to cook for others, make it for you. Don’t treat yourself as unimportant. A glass of wine while cooking with some beautiful music or any travel and food documentaries is my way of happy cooking.

Dig out the things you forgot during the course of life which made you happy, or something that you always wished for. It could be a hobby, and activity you were fond of. It could be a thing you always wanted for yourself, a dress, a book series or anything.

Beach-up. Nothing is more soothing and relaxing than listening to the ocean waves. You can do this too, but you can also party on the beach, play with the waves and have fun the way you want to. A beautiful beach dress, flip-flops and a beach bag can make you

A bookstore with a café’. No need to say more.

Appreciate your appearance, your looks. Feel gorgeous

Dare it. Face your fears if you have any. Go for adventures and your success or failure will make you closer to you

Movies, yes, they make you feel good. Watch your favorite movies. If not regularly, at least once in a month spend your day with your favorite characters and stories with treats in the living room.

Meditate or join a spiritual group, a Sufi dance workshop, a pottery workshop, a gardening workshop.

Grow your own garden. A few beautiful plants, organic herbs not only please the senses but also give a chance to spend some time for yourself by using them for your own health.

Sit in a garden and relax on the green carpet grass

 Excursions, food walks, dance workshops, wine tasting events, farm tours, a visit to stud farms,  stage shows, stand-up comedies, live music concerts, swimming and so much more to do with yourself

Buy yourself flowers every now and then and some chocolates too. Enjoy!



Refugee Children are Extraordinary


I have worked closely with the refugee population in India as a trainer under a UNHCR project for close to 3 years, including people from Afghanistan, Burma, Iraq and Somalia. And what I have experienced during my interaction with them is a great ardour of love, gratitude and care in them despite of all odds, especially in the children.

I dedicate this blog to all those children who are displaced and seek asylum in other countries; who had to leave their favorite pals, playgrounds, house courtyards, schools and run away with or without their families to escape from savagely violent wars against peace and humanity. There would be many little souls who managed to stay in this world and survive, and many that could not.

Relating this to a recent event when a 3-year old washed ashore on a Turkish beach, the boy Aylan’s story echoed around the world. He as a child of God did his part to show the world how heartless it is, and what message a small little child can give to this cold-blooded world. Every child who leaves his loving things and places sends a message to us, but the message doesn’t get interpreted because we can’t think like these children of God. Yes, we are not close enough to God like these little generous souls.

Refugee children are not the ordinary ones, and there are several reasons for that:

They not only feel the need of being loved and cared but also know how to give out love and care – Many of these refugee kids had other kids or unaccompanied minors in their homes, and these children loved each other like siblings. They had no question about each other’s identity, but only love and care that matters the most.

They are not God-fearing, but God-loving despite all the misfortunes and challenges were thrown at them – Once during a class I asked a beautiful little 5-year-old refugee girl that how does she feel in India? She answered, “My mom says we will be happy where ever we go, because God looks down from heaven on us, and will always take care. She also said that God loves children like me who smile and listen to mom and dad. I feel happy in India, but I left my school in my country.”

They wish for a happy world while in their own adversities, and not just their own happiness – Every time I used to ask my  student kids about being happy or wishing something, they all had similar answers of wishing the world to be a peaceful place to live, and no one should be forced to leave their homes.

They are creative, not destructive because they know what destruction can cause – They show their capability of designing a whole new life around themselves and adapt to the circumstances.

They value relationships because they don’t take anything for granted – They understand the fear of losing someone, and the trauma of living without love and care. They value people around them and remain grateful for what they have.

They are inspiring and deserve more than what they have!

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Happy Independence to all who are PRIVILEGED, SAFE and FORTUNATE ENOUGH!


We are happy and proud to be Indians, but I AM not so proud to be a human, enjoying my independence without doing anything for our fellow citizens who are still the slaves of inhumanity. Yes, I feel bad to call our country free, when it is not!

These pictures will make you feel the same! I bet!

Enjoy Your Independence anyways!

Children on work sites than in schools – neither happy nor free!download (1)




Farmers commit suicide, but feed  us!httpwww.thehansindia.comassetsFarmers(6).jpg





Poor old widows begging in Varanasi and Mathura! It’s all their fault- they lost their husbands – their fault; they have uncaring and ungrateful children – their fault!httpwww.pardaphash.comuploadsimages660banaras%20widows-83915.jpg


Baby girls being killed in many states of our country! THEY ARE NOT EVEN FREE TO LIVE abortion_by_pzkrolik



Child abuse is alarmingly increasing !httpimages.indiatvnews.comcrimecrimeIndiaTva35a17_minor_molestation.jpg




Kids working in hazardous cracker factories – Don’t even have right to breathe fresh air! THEY ARE NOT FREEhttpgraphics8.nytimes.comimages20121112worldasia12-Firecracker1-Indiaink12-Firecracker1-Indiaink-blog480.jpg



Crime against Women!!!!! It doesn’t matter anymore,,,, everyday story!httplawlex.orgwp-contentuploads201305QWuXtyBwZfUOZCu-556x313-noPad.jpg



Poverty Stricken families! we see them all over, but what can we do? Government will handle!httpsgmroebuck.files.wordpress.com201104ind751.jpg



No, it’s not to sympathize with the beggars, but against the malicious Begging Racket!httpwww.udaipurtimes.comwp-contentuploads201402beggars.jpg


Even after 69 years of freedom, we are not free from any of these issues, why? Because, as common people we don’t even try, and just believe that our efforts would not be enough to change these situations.

We continue to live like this for years enjoying OUR freedom, not India’s freedom!


Image sources:,width-300,resizemode-4/farmer-suicide.jpg×313-noPad.jpg



Mommy, our childhood is not here to stay!

My son asked me, “Mom, will you make me sleep till I go to high school or even after that?”

And I said “Grown up children sleep on their own.”

But, mom, our love also grows when we grow, and I love you more every day, and that means I need you more every day.” He adds up,  “Mum, why do  parents always want their children to grow up early, do things like big boys/girls? Do parents not like small kids, and things they do?

And then the questions started raining, and rather than finding their answers, I started questioning myself for many reasons. I was lost; lost in the world I created for my kids and myself.

Mum, don’t you like when I ask you to watch a football match with me or play a game?” I said, “Yes, honey! Of course I do.”

But then why do you not do that often?”, he said.

I had no answer to this! Deep down we both knew the answer that I am usually busy juggling office and home, and not able to find enough time to do this. But I didn’t want to give this answer to him, rather I asked myself, Why do I need to be that busy that I miss these chances that will never come again in life?

Mom, why are you always cranky in the evening, when you come back from office, and don’t seem interested in whatever I say about my day in school, with friends, in the playground, but you always ask about my homework, notebooks, school dairy?”

Why are you always in a hurry to cook, to serve us dinner, to make us sleep, to wake us up early in the morning, to complete our homework? Why don’t you sit with us for some time?”

I again had no answer to this!

Mom, you know I like it when you are at home with us, when you take an off from work, or on a Sunday, and we sit and watch TV with a cup of tea; and when we dance together, even if I don’t like to dance on those silly songs you dance on; and when we lie down together on the couch for hours, and watch my old baby videos.”

I love that too, my baby”, I said. And again I got lost in scratching out the real meaning behind these questions and replies.

Mom, I can see many times you are very tired, but still cook for us, help us in homework, I always want to help you in kitchen, but you don’t allow me use knife, or handle hot pots, or go near gas stove. So tell me how can I do that?” and I laughed at this, and my son laughed even louder, and I asked, “Why did you laugh?” He replied, “Because you were happy and laughing.”

I couldn’t think beyond this! Just that, I have everything, but still I am losing a lot that will never come again; my children’s childhood; their innocence; their silly stories; their genuine emotions about the world around; those cuddly nights; their soft, chubby cheeks; those squeezing hugs full of love and that duckling trail- like after mama duck 😉

We must not take all this for granted. Our kids give us everything they have unconditionally, and our time and smile is all that they look for!

Surrogates Born Out of Poverty – Helplessness or Choice?

Early morning while crossing through the lobby of my office, an educational institution in Delhi, the sight of a big headline in the newspaper lying on the coffee table stopped me to look at those Big Bold Black Catchy words, WOMB FACTORY.  I went closer to the table and just read the complete headline, which stated, “Inside the NCR womb factory: How poverty forces workers’ wives to become surrogate mothers in Noida, Loni, and Gurgaon”; Surrogacy is the magic word these days, but after I read the headline my concern immediately changed from surrogacy to “Poverty Forcing Women to do this”. And I was filled with not a feeling of sympathy, pity, consolation, but a feeling of disgust and strong disapproval. I am not judging the situations people go through to opt for this way of coming out of their misfortune, or poor monetary conditions; there could be very much valid reasons for choosing this source to get out of certain unavoidable situations; but, poverty is not the only reason for people to make this choice.

These days this option is widely available in market to cater to people who can pay heavily for this, but when this option was not so readily available a few years back, didn’t people find out other ways to get out of their pathetic life situations born through poverty? I know, and completely understand that there are other unethical, illegal, dishonorable and immoral ways that people have to opt out of helplessness, but, why when a high paying product/service comes in the market, people choose it as the easiest way to get themselves fulfilled, blaming poverty as the sole reason for their choice? Aren’t other options, with some dignity, patience, and righteousness are of any help to deal with situations in poverty and distress? Again stressing on worst case scenarios, where people HAVE to go through wrong choices deliberately, but not everyone who’s poor. Let me state some phrases people have shared in the article talking about their needs and helplessness to agree to surrogacy:

I’m saving money to marry off my girls. A girl’s marriage in India costs a lot to parents. I have two daughters who are growing up. I want to save some money for them so that I can easily marry them off.”

No other way to pay our debts”. Pinki’s husband has a small-time job in an export house and is trying hard to make ends meet. “I already have two sons. When I had my second son, I never thought I would be pregnant again. But circumstances make human beings their slaves.”

We want to build a house. For many years we have been striving to build a house, but the high prices have broken our back.”

These statements and many similar to these make me ponder over the actual reason of this widespread and easiest choice of becoming a womb factory.

It’s not helplessness out of poverty; it’s a choice to have better living conditions through high paying options available. I concur that everyone has the right to choose their way of living and spending life, but people with struggling conditions only blame poverty for the miseries of their lives, and they don’t even look out the better ways to deal with the miseries. These money earning options are not forced by poverty alone to go for; choosing these options in the name of poverty is demeaning the better options available which many others under the poverty line are following, like, education, sensitization on various life issues – social/health/educational/better living conditions/growth prospects through fewer resources, and much more. We have so many resources to improve our life conditions, and which are permanent solutions to this problem of poverty, but most of the people do not want to utilize those, just because they are not as easy as quick money options like surrogacy.

Not poverty, but illiteracy, ignorance and lack of education in overall areas of life make people to choose the easiest but worst options.

Choosing surrogacy as a poverty eliminator may be a good idea to earn and solve major issues of life, but this is not the solution to poverty, and neither the forceful result of bad life conditions. Blaming poverty for this choice is guff! Better options do exist!
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Interview is Just a Conversation with a purpose!


People spend sleepless nights when they have an interview lined up. The anxiety starts spilling out and spreads to the environment around them, at home, college, or office. Yes, it’s good to be anxious about your efforts to be put to crack an interview, but it’s never fair to be anxious about the result of the interview before you have faced it. It ruins your preparation, dissolves your efforts into worry, and the outcome is never positive. Positive outcome doesn’t only mean that you get the job, but it also means the satisfaction that you feel in your efforts even after being rejected in the interview. This positivity further helps you to analyze your strong and weak points for your future interviews, and you perform better than before. On the other hand, being anxious about your performance and the result will block your vision ahead. Now, the question is How to avoid this anxiety and fear of failure? A simple answer to this is being comfortable with yourself, and believing that interview is a form of conversation with a stranger with similar professional interests, who is curious to know about you.

Now, analyze a situation where you meet someone and you need to make a real good impression on, not a fake one, to have a good future network or connection. You try your best to communicate easily by talking appropriate things about yourself, using gestures you saved in your mind to be used with people you really want to impress; the gestures you often don’t use with your family and friends. When you communicate comfortably with people, you can observe their interest in you, and also when you are comfortable talking to them you tend to understand them effectively which further strengthens the process of communication.

You need to demonstrate many hard skills during the interviews, and for that you need competitive preparation. And to demonstrate these skills effectively, soft skills need to be honed which can only be done with ease and finesse. Soft skills are acquired by being easy and comfortable with your content or information you want to share, and to be comfortable, you need to be interested in sharing and receiving information. Interview is a simple process of communicating with a purpose, and that purpose is to share appropriate information effectively to earn the position. Take it easy when facing an interview and be interesting; converse in short stories and positive language. It’s OK, it’s just a conversation!!Be sophisticatedly Original!!

None of this is to imply that you shouldn’t prepare yourself for an interview and only relax!!!

Also note that there is no single strategy that works with all interviewers. While some welcome casual conversations, others like to keep the interview quite formal. It’s important to assess your interviewers from their mannerism and first few questions, and then proceed accordingly.

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Copying a Wrong Behavior is Tempting!

Should We Copy in Relationships?

A book I read recently, by a well known spiritual guru, talks about woman and her powers, and I came across a section which suggests on how to get over your insecurities , jealousy and desire for love when you find your man inclined towards other women? And the suggestion is to do the same as your man is doing to you, because it’s your right too.

I agree on the point of equality here, but I really find it ridiculous where it says & recommends copying the behavior of a married man, or a man in relationship who is inclined towards other women and making his woman suffer. I believe this is not what spiritualism guides you to; rather it’s the baby of materialism, where you want to satisfy your needs at any cost. Copying a wrong attribute or behavior is not a path to quench your thirst and fulfill your desires just because you think that the other person will feel and understand your problem when he faces the same. And, if it’s about thinking for our own individualities, our own dreams & desires, why do we get into relationships? What is the meaning of being into a relationship? It’s also mentioned in the book, if a man is involved in many other love affairs, his woman also has the right to live her own happiness and can get involved with other men. First of all, it’s not about men or women; it can be either ways, initiated by a man or a woman in a relationship.

But why the person should not copy his partner in terms of self-interest, fulfillment of material, emotional and sexual desires?

Firstly, the person who is suffering of betrayal or infidelity, or ignorance, knows the amount of pain that is caused due to this, so whoever is truly in love, true to his/her relationship,, or humane in nature will never cause that amount of pain to his/her partner.

Secondly, when a person realizes that his/her partner is doing something that is wrong and not acceptable, neither in society , nor in a personal relationship, and also, if the wrong behavior of that partner has troubled the family & relationships severely, why would a sane person do exactly the same to ruin the complete identity of that relationship?

Thirdly, a relationship as an entity or as a word has no existence when the people in it run in opposite directions to attain materialistic accomplishments. How can it be called a relationship? It becomes an agreement, like a rent agreement in most cases where the landlord and the tenant share the same house but they are not concerned to each other’s life. And an agreement is not a relationship. Even if one of the partners is walking in the wrong direction, it’s the other partner’s responsibility to help him/her get back to the right, but if he/she doesn’t come back, this should not make the other person to get on the wrong track too. It’s his/her choice how to make things better for himself/herself. I would never recommend clinging on to the person who no longer cares for you; I would never suggest lamenting over the situation and treating yourself as victim; I would also not say not to enjoy your life and freedom given by God. But’ copying the wrong behavior is not a solution.

I understand that a lot of times women have limited options and they have to settle for less, but believe me God never compromises on his children, and He never gives up on them. A good woman will always be in control, in control of God and His Will, in control of her kids’ love for her, their dependability on her, in control of the law of gratitude and the law of karma. And when she is control, she will make the best choices for herself and the family. And the same goes for a good man.

A lot of things in his/her life will take a backseat; I would not say to renounce those desires, or to pressurize oneself to an extent of explosion, but to let them subside for some time and put the priorities according to the need of the hour, keeping in mind all the consequences of the choices. And remember, those things at the backseat will be reached out eventually through the efforts that he/she is going to put during the transformation process. Ultimately, this transformation, upliftment of thoughts, actions and soul will prove beneficial for the partner who is trying to get things right, not for the one who is blindly walking into the black hole. But one should also not compromise on his/her values and self-respect; it’s your right to protect them and fight for them.

Lastly, the desire for love that goes missing when such occurrences happen can be rekindled in oneself through a lot of different ways, of getting closer to the people or friends who love you, getting close to nature and things you love to do; your kids’ love, or your parents’ love and support is the best medicine to this ailment.

Following the person who is walking blindly will close all the doors to happiness and when we say happiness, it means PERMANENT HAPPINESS, and that can only be achieved when you do what is right and not under the influence of temporary or momentary happiness, because then you will again  get disheartened and discontented.