Copying a Wrong Behavior is Tempting!

Should We Copy in Relationships?

A book I read recently, by a well known spiritual guru, talks about woman and her powers, and I came across a section which suggests on how to get over your insecurities , jealousy and desire for love when you find your man inclined towards other women? And the suggestion is to do the same as your man is doing to you, because it’s your right too.

I agree on the point of equality here, but I really find it ridiculous where it says & recommends copying the behavior of a married man, or a man in relationship who is inclined towards other women and making his woman suffer. I believe this is not what spiritualism guides you to; rather it’s the baby of materialism, where you want to satisfy your needs at any cost. Copying a wrong attribute or behavior is not a path to quench your thirst and fulfill your desires just because you think that the other person will feel and understand your problem when he faces the same. And, if it’s about thinking for our own individualities, our own dreams & desires, why do we get into relationships? What is the meaning of being into a relationship? It’s also mentioned in the book, if a man is involved in many other love affairs, his woman also has the right to live her own happiness and can get involved with other men. First of all, it’s not about men or women; it can be either ways, initiated by a man or a woman in a relationship.

But why the person should not copy his partner in terms of self-interest, fulfillment of material, emotional and sexual desires?

Firstly, the person who is suffering of betrayal or infidelity, or ignorance, knows the amount of pain that is caused due to this, so whoever is truly in love, true to his/her relationship,, or humane in nature will never cause that amount of pain to his/her partner.

Secondly, when a person realizes that his/her partner is doing something that is wrong and not acceptable, neither in society , nor in a personal relationship, and also, if the wrong behavior of that partner has troubled the family & relationships severely, why would a sane person do exactly the same to ruin the complete identity of that relationship?

Thirdly, a relationship as an entity or as a word has no existence when the people in it run in opposite directions to attain materialistic accomplishments. How can it be called a relationship? It becomes an agreement, like a rent agreement in most cases where the landlord and the tenant share the same house but they are not concerned to each other’s life. And an agreement is not a relationship. Even if one of the partners is walking in the wrong direction, it’s the other partner’s responsibility to help him/her get back to the right, but if he/she doesn’t come back, this should not make the other person to get on the wrong track too. It’s his/her choice how to make things better for himself/herself. I would never recommend clinging on to the person who no longer cares for you; I would never suggest lamenting over the situation and treating yourself as victim; I would also not say not to enjoy your life and freedom given by God. But’ copying the wrong behavior is not a solution.

I understand that a lot of times women have limited options and they have to settle for less, but believe me God never compromises on his children, and He never gives up on them. A good woman will always be in control, in control of God and His Will, in control of her kids’ love for her, their dependability on her, in control of the law of gratitude and the law of karma. And when she is control, she will make the best choices for herself and the family. And the same goes for a good man.

A lot of things in his/her life will take a backseat; I would not say to renounce those desires, or to pressurize oneself to an extent of explosion, but to let them subside for some time and put the priorities according to the need of the hour, keeping in mind all the consequences of the choices. And remember, those things at the backseat will be reached out eventually through the efforts that he/she is going to put during the transformation process. Ultimately, this transformation, upliftment of thoughts, actions and soul will prove beneficial for the partner who is trying to get things right, not for the one who is blindly walking into the black hole. But one should also not compromise on his/her values and self-respect; it’s your right to protect them and fight for them.

Lastly, the desire for love that goes missing when such occurrences happen can be rekindled in oneself through a lot of different ways, of getting closer to the people or friends who love you, getting close to nature and things you love to do; your kids’ love, or your parents’ love and support is the best medicine to this ailment.

Following the person who is walking blindly will close all the doors to happiness and when we say happiness, it means PERMANENT HAPPINESS, and that can only be achieved when you do what is right and not under the influence of temporary or momentary happiness, because then you will again  get disheartened and discontented.

Why do Good People Face Bad Things?

First of all, it’s a myth. God is Just and He never makes mistakes while dealing with His children and treats all equally. But yes, this do happens that good people feel that they face a lot of bad things and struggle in their lives as compared to not so good people, who enjoy the mercy of good Lord. Let’s try to analyze why we feel that God is unjust sometimes and good people suffer more?

Here are few points to ponder upon and take a hint on God’s way of dealing with His children:

1.     As a class representative (CR/class monitor), you are chosen by your teacher because you possess better qualities and higher level of motivation than others. But, this does not mean that you don’t have to work hard to achieve more, and for that your teacher gives your more responsibilities & tasks to enhance your abilities and produce better results. As a CR you are given tasks that involve lots of efforts, brainstorming, management, effective decision-making skills, tact and techniques to work with others and for others, keeping in mind the best for all. So, ultimately you are tested on your skills, talents and decisions. This helps you to grow and experience things that none of your classmates would get a chance to, in the current class.

This is how God selects good people and challenges them to bring out their best and that’s why they stand apart glorifying God, radiating patience, love and kindness through God, even in their most difficult times. God selects good people not only because they can take care of themselves but also because they can take care of others and their instincts can help people rely on them.

2.     After God has selected you as His representative, He will make sure that you be an example of God’s work to the world. He will even challenge you with situations that could be devastating, with the reason of making you stronger than ever and letting the world know that good people can overcome any challenge in their lives with the help, love and guidance of God.

3.     During the struggle good people turn to God and God gives them refuge and reveals to them His will. Many a times these people grow weary & weak and they collapse, but every time this happens God picks them up, refuels them, and helps them to reach the ultimate goal. But still a lot of times good people could not take it forward and they break, but that does not mean that God will abandon them. He counts and considers each and every single effort of people who try and walk on the right path. So, he picks them up and takes them through himself. The only thing God desires from His children is faith, dedication and love for Him.

4.     God wants His children always by His side and when God analyses our persistence towards His love and His will; He feels happy and grants us the desires of our heart. But the only thing He expects from us is to never forget the learning and guidance from Him during the challenging times, and follow them throughout life, even when the time seems easy and more favorable.

God’s Best is Yet to Come

We go through countless challenging situations in life where we stumble, we fall, and we try to get back up, or sometimes lose to the situations or the inevitable. But actually we never lose anything, we surrender, and when we decide to surrender, we leave all to God which is not our defeat but a victory, because God never makes His children to lose. Surrendering to God after endless efforts and trials is a victory to be cherished and get excited about the result that God Himself is going to fetch for us, and that is what I always say to myself ‘God’s Best, yet to come’.

We try and try but we fail, why? Because God wants us to practice a lot of things that He wants us to learn and be prepared for, and when we still fail to reach, God wants to intervene to reach our reaching. Because He wants us to land safely to our goal, God will never abandon us during our journey of faith with Him. All we have to do is keep repeating and believing in our minds and hearts that God’s best is yet to come. We need to continue pushing ourselves every day to God’s best, and never get satisfied with this feeling. When we get something good we must plan to get better and ultimately God’s ways will take us to the best.

A long struggle of mind and body can make us grow weary and insufficient, but our ultimate goal of experiencing God’s best can spark a new life in our endeavors.

Trying these steps to achieve God’s best in your lives really helps:

  • Be confident about God’s presence in your life.
  • Know He is there with you.
  • Express your gratitude toward Him all the time, I mean ALL THE TIME!
  • Always believe in your actions, because they are also through the Lord Himself.
  • Believe and tell God that you have done all what you could do and surrender to Him.
  • Don’t seek revenge for your hurt, let God take the call. Believe, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord (Deuteronomy 32:35).
  • Pray and Pray and Pray for everything you are grateful for, and the things your are asking for.
  • Talk to Him often, pour out your heart to Him and seek His guidance in silence.

Keep your focus only on God’s Best!

Falling in Love with Yourself

Falling in Love with yourself! It’s the most difficult thing to get your hands on, because we always connect our happiness to others, may be to people, material things or favorable times. But, I believe, when we reach this level of spirituality where we fall in love with ourselves and our Lord, we lose all fears, all apprehensions, all hurt, and all resentments in our minds and hearts. Amazing feeling it is!! You don’t renounce the worldly things, but you enjoy what God has provided you with. Your life transforms, and you start doing things for yourself that you used think you couldn’t do alone; or things you were doing only for others. This stage will not make you self-centered, thinking only about yourself, because the process of reaching this state would have already taught you to be balanced in your thoughts and actions. So, you won’t quit thinking and working for others, but the addition to your life would be ‘Loving Yourself’, which you actually missed earlier.

It’s beautiful…beautiful…. beautiful to fall in love with yourself. You sing beautiful songs for yourself; you feel confident about your existence in this world; you inspire others; you get motivated to do more good, because you feel good; you dress-up well to feel good; you make yourself a hot cup of coffee and treat your sweet tooth with some delightful desserts; you crave for your favorite food and make efforts to satisfy the desire, which you never paid attention to earlier because your were busy satisfying others all the time. Frequent attacks of smiling while sitting alone, or while watching people and nature around; like kids playing in the park; puppies running after each other and their mother; beautiful families walking around, busy street vendors; fleet of birds flying in a pattern; mom and kids cuddling and kissing; and what not! Can’t even express!! But it’s magnificent!
And now, to you, your happiness matters and you have discovered the source too; it is your own individuality, your own decision to stay happy and trust God.