Category Archives: relationship

You don’t love me!

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Saying this to your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is quite common, but the true answer lies within yourself.  Rather than asking this question to others, asking it to yourself will give you the best answer. Ponder upon the reasons why you don’t love yourself much and you won’t be able to give yourself any excuses or fake assurances with a mouth full of lies like others can do to you. That’s true that we cannot lie to ourselves. Relate this FOMO (fear of missing out) of good things like love and attention from others to those days when you were single but happy, may be in your childhood or adolescence, and find out why were you happy that time as compared to now when you have people closer to you? You will find that you are actually not missing anything, but yourself. The FOMO is connected to people, not to real happiness.

It’s important, I must say very essential to find yourself if you are lost in running after people for your happiness. AND, IT’S VERY EASY!

Don’t wait for special occasions with people, like dating or celebrating only with others. Date yourself; celebrate your existence, your own happiness, and your own achievements.

Shop for yourself, or wear beautiful dresses when and wherever you want

Take yourself out for a coffee, some desserts or some wine

Drive yourself to beautiful places, scenic highways and put on your favorite music

Pamper yourself with a SPA ; buy it or create for yourself. A warm bubble bath with aromatic oils and plenty of time can just be the perfect way to pamper your body temple

Walk alone or go for a trek. Romance nature and you will never be disappointed.

Cook for yourself. Anything that you like and would love to cook for others, make it for you. Don’t treat yourself as unimportant. A glass of wine while cooking with some beautiful music or any travel and food documentaries is my way of happy cooking.

Dig out the things you forgot during the course of life which made you happy, or something that you always wished for. It could be a hobby, and activity you were fond of. It could be a thing you always wanted for yourself, a dress, a book series or anything.

Beach-up. Nothing is more soothing and relaxing than listening to the ocean waves. You can do this too, but you can also party on the beach, play with the waves and have fun the way you want to. A beautiful beach dress, flip-flops and a beach bag can make you

A bookstore with a café’. No need to say more.

Appreciate your appearance, your looks. Feel gorgeous

Dare it. Face your fears if you have any. Go for adventures and your success or failure will make you closer to you

Movies, yes, they make you feel good. Watch your favorite movies. If not regularly, at least once in a month spend your day with your favorite characters and stories with treats in the living room.

Meditate or join a spiritual group, a Sufi dance workshop, a pottery workshop, a gardening workshop.

Grow your own garden. A few beautiful plants, organic herbs not only please the senses but also give a chance to spend some time for yourself by using them for your own health.

Sit in a garden and relax on the green carpet grass

 Excursions, food walks, dance workshops, wine tasting events, farm tours, a visit to stud farms,  stage shows, stand-up comedies, live music concerts, swimming and so much more to do with yourself

Buy yourself flowers every now and then and some chocolates too. Enjoy!

 

 

Mommy, our childhood is not here to stay!

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My son asked me, “Mom, will you make me sleep till I go to high school or even after that?”

And I said “Grown up children sleep on their own.”

“But, mom, our love also grows when we grow, and I love you more every day, and that means I need you more every day.” He adds up,  “Mum, why do  parents always want their children to grow up early, do things like big boys/girls? Do parents not like small kids, and things they do?”

And then the questions started raining, and rather than finding their answers, I started questioning myself for many reasons. I was lost; lost in the world I created for my kids and myself.

“Mum, don’t you like when I ask you to watch a football match with me or play a game?” I said, “Yes, honey! Of course I do.”

“But then why do you not do that often?”, he said.

I had no answer to this! Deep down we both knew the answer that I am usually busy juggling office and home, and not able to find enough time to do this. But I didn’t want to give this answer to him, rather I asked myself, Why do I need to be that busy that I miss these chances that will never come again in life?

“Mom, why are you always cranky in the evening, when you come back from office, and don’t seem interested in whatever I say about my day in school, with friends, in the playground, but you always ask about my homework, notebooks, school dairy?”

“Why are you always in a hurry to cook, to serve us dinner, to make us sleep, to wake us up early in the morning, to complete our homework? Why don’t you sit with us for some time?”

I again had no answer to this!

“Mom, you know I like it when you are at home with us, when you take an off from work, or on a Sunday, and we sit and watch TV with a cup of tea; and when we dance together, even if I don’t like to dance on those silly songs you dance on; and when we lie down together on the couch for hours, and watch my old baby videos.”

“I love that too, my baby”, I said. And again I got lost in scratching out the real meaning behind these questions and replies.

“Mom, I can see many times you are very tired, but still cook for us, help us in homework, I always want to help you in kitchen, but you don’t allow me use knife, or handle hot pots, or go near gas stove. So tell me how can I do that?” and I laughed at this, and my son laughed even louder, and I asked, “Why did you laugh?” He replied, “Because you were happy and laughing.”

I couldn’t think beyond this! Just that, I have everything, but still I am losing a lot that will never come again; my children’s childhood; their innocence; their silly stories; their genuine emotions about the world around; those cuddly nights; their soft, chubby cheeks; those squeezing hugs full of love and that duckling trail- like after mama duck 😉

We must not take all this for granted. Our kids give us everything they have unconditionally, and our time and smile is all that they look for!

Falling in Love with Yourself

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Falling in Love with yourself! It’s the most difficult thing to get your hands on, because we always connect our happiness to others, may be to people, material things or favorable times. But, I believe, when we reach this level of spirituality where we fall in love with ourselves and our Lord, we lose all fears, all apprehensions, all hurt, and all resentments in our minds and hearts. Amazing feeling it is!! You don’t renounce the worldly things, but you enjoy what God has provided you with. Your life transforms, and you start doing things for yourself that you used think you couldn’t do alone; or things you were doing only for others. This stage will not make you self-centered, thinking only about yourself, because the process of reaching this state would have already taught you to be balanced in your thoughts and actions. So, you won’t quit thinking and working for others, but the addition to your life would be ‘Loving Yourself’, which you actually missed earlier.

It’s beautiful…beautiful…. beautiful to fall in love with yourself. You sing beautiful songs for yourself; you feel confident about your existence in this world; you inspire others; you get motivated to do more good, because you feel good; you dress-up well to feel good; you make yourself a hot cup of coffee and treat your sweet tooth with some delightful desserts; you crave for your favorite food and make efforts to satisfy the desire, which you never paid attention to earlier because your were busy satisfying others all the time. Frequent attacks of smiling while sitting alone, or while watching people and nature around; like kids playing in the park; puppies running after each other and their mother; beautiful families walking around, busy street vendors; fleet of birds flying in a pattern; mom and kids cuddling and kissing; and what not! Can’t even express!! But it’s magnificent!
And now, to you, your happiness matters and you have discovered the source too; it is your own individuality, your own decision to stay happy and trust God.