happy – Deepika Tuli

I have worked closely with the refugee population in India as a trainer under a UNHCR project for close to 3 years, including people from Afghanistan, Burma, Iraq and Somalia. And what I have experienced during my interaction with them is a great ardour of love, gratitude and care in them despite of all odds, especially in the children.

I dedicate this blog to all those children who are displaced and seek asylum in other countries; who had to leave their favorite pals, playgrounds, house courtyards, schools and run away with or without their families to escape from savagely violent wars against peace and humanity. There would be many little souls who managed to stay in this world and survive, and many that could not.

Relating this to a recent event when a 3-year old washed ashore on a Turkish beach, the boy Aylan’s story echoed around the world. He as a child of God did his part to show the world how heartless it is, and what message a small little child can give to this cold-blooded world. Every child who leaves his loving things and places sends a message to us, but the message doesn’t get interpreted because we can’t think like these children of God. Yes, we are not close enough to God like these little generous souls.

Refugee children are not the ordinary ones, and there are several reasons for that:

They not only feel the need of being loved and cared but also know how to give out love and care – Many of these refugee kids had other kids or unaccompanied minors in their homes, and these children loved each other like siblings. They had no question about each other’s identity, but only love and care that matters the most.

They are not God-fearing, but God-loving despite all the misfortunes and challenges were thrown at them – Once during a class I asked a beautiful little 5-year-old refugee girl that how does she feel in India? She answered, “My mom says we will be happy where ever we go, because God looks down from heaven on us, and will always take care. She also said that God loves children like me who smile and listen to mom and dad. I feel happy in India, but I left my school in my country.”

They wish for a happy world while in their own adversities, and not just their own happiness – Every time I used to ask my student kids about being happy or wishing something, they all had similar answers of wishing the world to be a peaceful place to live, and no one should be forced to leave their homes.

They are creative, not destructive because they know what destruction can cause – They show their capability of designing a whole new life around themselves and adapt to the circumstances.

They value relationships because they don’t take anything for granted – They understand the fear of losing someone, and the trauma of living without love and care. They value people around them and remain grateful for what they have.

They are inspiring and deserve more than what they have!

Picture Source:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02619/Syrian-Refugees_2619496b.jpg

My son asked me, “Mom, will you make me sleep till I go to high school or even after that?”

And I said “Grown up children sleep on their own.”

“But, mom, our love also grows when we grow, and I love you more every day, and that means I need you more every day.” He adds up, “Mum, why do parents always want their children to grow up early, do things like big boys/girls? Do parents not like small kids, and things they do?”

And then the questions started raining, and rather than finding their answers, I started questioning myself for many reasons. I was lost; lost in the world I created for my kids and myself.

“Mum, don’t you like when I ask you to watch a football match with me or play a game?” I said, “Yes, honey! Of course I do.”

“But then why do you not do that often?”, he said.

I had no answer to this! Deep down we both knew the answer that I am usually busy juggling office and home, and not able to find enough time to do this. But I didn’t want to give this answer to him, rather I asked myself, Why do I need to be that busy that I miss these chances that will never come again in life?

“Mom, why are you always cranky in the evening, when you come back from office, and don’t seem interested in whatever I say about my day in school, with friends, in the playground, but you always ask about my homework, notebooks, school dairy?”

“Why are you always in a hurry to cook, to serve us dinner, to make us sleep, to wake us up early in the morning, to complete our homework? Why don’t you sit with us for some time?”

I again had no answer to this!

“Mom, you know I like it when you are at home with us, when you take an off from work, or on a Sunday, and we sit and watch TV with a cup of tea; and when we dance together, even if I don’t like to dance on those silly songs you dance on; and when we lie down together on the couch for hours, and watch my old baby videos.”

“I love that too, my baby”, I said. And again I got lost in scratching out the real meaning behind these questions and replies.

“Mom, I can see many times you are very tired, but still cook for us, help us in homework, I always want to help you in kitchen, but you don’t allow me use knife, or handle hot pots, or go near gas stove. So tell me how can I do that?” and I laughed at this, and my son laughed even louder, and I asked, “Why did you laugh?” He replied, “Because you were happy and laughing.”

I couldn’t think beyond this! Just that, I have everything, but still I am losing a lot that will never come again; my children’s childhood; their innocence; their silly stories; their genuine emotions about the world around; those cuddly nights; their soft, chubby cheeks; those squeezing hugs full of love and that duckling trail- like after mama duck 😉

We must not take all this for granted. Our kids give us everything they have unconditionally, and our time and smile is all that they look for!

Tag Archives: happy

Refugee Children are Extraordinary

Mommy, our childhood is not here to stay!