Tag Archives: love

You don’t love me!

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Saying this to your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is quite common, but the true answer lies within yourself.  Rather than asking this question to others, asking it to yourself will give you the best answer. Ponder upon the reasons why you don’t love yourself much and you won’t be able to give yourself any excuses or fake assurances with a mouth full of lies like others can do to you. That’s true that we cannot lie to ourselves. Relate this FOMO (fear of missing out) of good things like love and attention from others to those days when you were single but happy, may be in your childhood or adolescence, and find out why were you happy that time as compared to now when you have people closer to you? You will find that you are actually not missing anything, but yourself. The FOMO is connected to people, not to real happiness.

It’s important, I must say very essential to find yourself if you are lost in running after people for your happiness. AND, IT’S VERY EASY!

Don’t wait for special occasions with people, like dating or celebrating only with others. Date yourself; celebrate your existence, your own happiness, and your own achievements.

Shop for yourself, or wear beautiful dresses when and wherever you want

Take yourself out for a coffee, some desserts or some wine

Drive yourself to beautiful places, scenic highways and put on your favorite music

Pamper yourself with a SPA ; buy it or create for yourself. A warm bubble bath with aromatic oils and plenty of time can just be the perfect way to pamper your body temple

Walk alone or go for a trek. Romance nature and you will never be disappointed.

Cook for yourself. Anything that you like and would love to cook for others, make it for you. Don’t treat yourself as unimportant. A glass of wine while cooking with some beautiful music or any travel and food documentaries is my way of happy cooking.

Dig out the things you forgot during the course of life which made you happy, or something that you always wished for. It could be a hobby, and activity you were fond of. It could be a thing you always wanted for yourself, a dress, a book series or anything.

Beach-up. Nothing is more soothing and relaxing than listening to the ocean waves. You can do this too, but you can also party on the beach, play with the waves and have fun the way you want to. A beautiful beach dress, flip-flops and a beach bag can make you

A bookstore with a café’. No need to say more.

Appreciate your appearance, your looks. Feel gorgeous

Dare it. Face your fears if you have any. Go for adventures and your success or failure will make you closer to you

Movies, yes, they make you feel good. Watch your favorite movies. If not regularly, at least once in a month spend your day with your favorite characters and stories with treats in the living room.

Meditate or join a spiritual group, a Sufi dance workshop, a pottery workshop, a gardening workshop.

Grow your own garden. A few beautiful plants, organic herbs not only please the senses but also give a chance to spend some time for yourself by using them for your own health.

Sit in a garden and relax on the green carpet grass

 Excursions, food walks, dance workshops, wine tasting events, farm tours, a visit to stud farms,  stage shows, stand-up comedies, live music concerts, swimming and so much more to do with yourself

Buy yourself flowers every now and then and some chocolates too. Enjoy!

 

 

Refugee Children are Extraordinary

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I have worked closely with the refugee population in India as a trainer under a UNHCR project for close to 3 years, including people from Afghanistan, Burma, Iraq and Somalia. And what I have experienced during my interaction with them is a great ardour of love, gratitude and care in them despite of all odds, especially in the children.

I dedicate this blog to all those children who are displaced and seek asylum in other countries; who had to leave their favorite pals, playgrounds, house courtyards, schools and run away with or without their families to escape from savagely violent wars against peace and humanity. There would be many little souls who managed to stay in this world and survive, and many that could not.

Relating this to a recent event when a 3-year old washed ashore on a Turkish beach, the boy Aylan’s story echoed around the world. He as a child of God did his part to show the world how heartless it is, and what message a small little child can give to this cold-blooded world. Every child who leaves his loving things and places sends a message to us, but the message doesn’t get interpreted because we can’t think like these children of God. Yes, we are not close enough to God like these little generous souls.

Refugee children are not the ordinary ones, and there are several reasons for that:

They not only feel the need of being loved and cared but also know how to give out love and care – Many of these refugee kids had other kids or unaccompanied minors in their homes, and these children loved each other like siblings. They had no question about each other’s identity, but only love and care that matters the most.

They are not God-fearing, but God-loving despite all the misfortunes and challenges were thrown at them – Once during a class I asked a beautiful little 5-year-old refugee girl that how does she feel in India? She answered, “My mom says we will be happy where ever we go, because God looks down from heaven on us, and will always take care. She also said that God loves children like me who smile and listen to mom and dad. I feel happy in India, but I left my school in my country.”

They wish for a happy world while in their own adversities, and not just their own happiness – Every time I used to ask my  student kids about being happy or wishing something, they all had similar answers of wishing the world to be a peaceful place to live, and no one should be forced to leave their homes.

They are creative, not destructive because they know what destruction can cause – They show their capability of designing a whole new life around themselves and adapt to the circumstances.

They value relationships because they don’t take anything for granted – They understand the fear of losing someone, and the trauma of living without love and care. They value people around them and remain grateful for what they have.

They are inspiring and deserve more than what they have!

Picture Source:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02619/Syrian-Refugees_2619496b.jpg

Mommy, our childhood is not here to stay!

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My son asked me, “Mom, will you make me sleep till I go to high school or even after that?”

And I said “Grown up children sleep on their own.”

“But, mom, our love also grows when we grow, and I love you more every day, and that means I need you more every day.” He adds up,  “Mum, why do  parents always want their children to grow up early, do things like big boys/girls? Do parents not like small kids, and things they do?”

And then the questions started raining, and rather than finding their answers, I started questioning myself for many reasons. I was lost; lost in the world I created for my kids and myself.

“Mum, don’t you like when I ask you to watch a football match with me or play a game?” I said, “Yes, honey! Of course I do.”

“But then why do you not do that often?”, he said.

I had no answer to this! Deep down we both knew the answer that I am usually busy juggling office and home, and not able to find enough time to do this. But I didn’t want to give this answer to him, rather I asked myself, Why do I need to be that busy that I miss these chances that will never come again in life?

“Mom, why are you always cranky in the evening, when you come back from office, and don’t seem interested in whatever I say about my day in school, with friends, in the playground, but you always ask about my homework, notebooks, school dairy?”

“Why are you always in a hurry to cook, to serve us dinner, to make us sleep, to wake us up early in the morning, to complete our homework? Why don’t you sit with us for some time?”

I again had no answer to this!

“Mom, you know I like it when you are at home with us, when you take an off from work, or on a Sunday, and we sit and watch TV with a cup of tea; and when we dance together, even if I don’t like to dance on those silly songs you dance on; and when we lie down together on the couch for hours, and watch my old baby videos.”

“I love that too, my baby”, I said. And again I got lost in scratching out the real meaning behind these questions and replies.

“Mom, I can see many times you are very tired, but still cook for us, help us in homework, I always want to help you in kitchen, but you don’t allow me use knife, or handle hot pots, or go near gas stove. So tell me how can I do that?” and I laughed at this, and my son laughed even louder, and I asked, “Why did you laugh?” He replied, “Because you were happy and laughing.”

I couldn’t think beyond this! Just that, I have everything, but still I am losing a lot that will never come again; my children’s childhood; their innocence; their silly stories; their genuine emotions about the world around; those cuddly nights; their soft, chubby cheeks; those squeezing hugs full of love and that duckling trail- like after mama duck 😉

We must not take all this for granted. Our kids give us everything they have unconditionally, and our time and smile is all that they look for!